Naked Attraction – an Asexual’s View

I think one of the biggest things that people misunderstand or can’t wrap their heads around with asexuality is its defining characteristic – a lack of sexual attraction. I talked about this briefly in an earlier post, but I want to explore it a little bit more, especially in relation to a TV show I’ve started watching.

Naked Attraction is a Channel 4 TV show in the UK. It’s a dating game show with a huge twist – the contestants choose each other based purely on physical, sexual attraction. A man/woman/other stands in front of six boxes containing six other contestants. The boxes are raised in segments, revealing everything. The people in the boxes are stark naked, and there are regular close-ups showing off every detail of their bodies. After each segment, the main contestant chooses which person they are least attracted to, who is out of the show. Eventually, they choose the person they find most appealing and they go on a fully-clothed date with each other.

And I really like it.

You might be thinking – hell, you probably should be thinking – “but, Shane, you say you’re asexual! Why do you like a show full of naked people?!” It’s a fair question.

Essentially, I like it because it helps me understand what the majority of people feel. The contestants on this show are – obviously – not shy about discussing what they like and don’t like about their own and others’ bodies, and what they find most attractive.

It’s a bit weird at first to hear people so openly discussing why they like a certain person’s vagina or whatever. But as someone who doesn’t find anything attractive – and frankly, looking at all of that genitalia has strongly reaffirmed that sex is Not For Me – this is super interesting, especially when their reasoning is logical rather than innate. For example, in the first episode, a bisexual woman says that she doesn’t like too much pubic hair, as it gets stuck in her teeth. Kinda gross, but makes sense.

The show always opens with the host – Anna Richardson – asking the ‘main’ contestant why physical attraction is so important to them. The first contestant of the second episode – a guy called Daryl – said, “It’s that caveman mentality. It’s what it’s about.” And that, obviously, makes perfect sense! We’re animals, the purpose of our existence is to pass our genes to our descendants, and sex is the way to do it. But for whatever reason, I do not have that caveman mentality that 99% of people do. It’s genuinely hard for me to comprehend what it feels like to be attracted to someone, but Naked Attraction has been helping me a little.

One thing that I especially like about the show is that there are little intercuts explaining the scientific basis for why people are attracted to certain body parts or features. An example is that straight men are often attracted to women with big backsides because it means that the woman will be more capable of carrying babies in their womb comfortably. Similarly, straight women are often attracted to men with big bums because it means they have strong hips – good for hunting and for, uh, thrusting.

I find this genuinely fascinating, and I have to say that it makes me feel a bit inadequate sometimes, or not right. If I’m not interested in this stuff, does it mean that I’m ‘broken’? I don’t think it does, and I don’t take it personally. I think everyone is just wired differently. It’s not much different for people who are gay, or lesbian, bi, pan etc. in that sense. But it certainly does make me feel like I’m missing something.

I want to clear up a common misconception about asexuality before I finish. Just because I’m not attracted to someone or something, it doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate their beauty. The very first ‘main’ contestant on the show, for example, has perfect boobs. Like, I was taken aback at how good they looked. She could have just walked out of a Renaissance painting, seriously. But does that fire off any signals in my brain that she’d make a good mate or whatever? No, it doesn’t! I just think they look good! I also think a lot of modern video games look good, but I don’t want to fuck them either.

In short, I like the show for its scientific basis. Which is kind of like going into McDonald’s for a salad and a bottle of water but it is what it is.

Anyway, I would recommend Naked Attraction as really interesting watch for asexuals. I’ve learnt a lot! I assume that allosexuals will really like it as well, because, y’know, hot naked people, which is probably the show’s main selling point anyway. The first episode is available on YouTube with the rest of the series on All4 in the UK.