Reflections

It’s hard to write.

Sometimes the words just flow out of me, drips of creative energy tapping on my keyboard. Other times, like recently, there’s a blockage that maybe even bleach is unable to clear.

Bleach, of course, was a ‘sarcastic’ suggestion made by the American President recently as a potential reliever of COVID-19.

This has been a horrible couple of months for the world as a whole, in a way that nobody alive could have anticipated. But should we have?

I’ve been wanting to write my feelings about the pandemic for a while now, but I haven’t been able to. Too many people have died, too many livelihoods have been destroyed, too much inaction and wrongfooting has exacerbated an already disastrous situation. The words of one guy with depression and anxiety about the future isn’t going to make things any better, even for the one writing it.

But I want to try.

* * *

History is cyclical. It’s a cliché, but one that holds water. All of this has happened before and all of this will happen again. There have been pandemics throughout human history. It’s probably rarer to live a life without having experienced one than it is to be suffering as we are today. We learn about them, from the Black Death to HIV, but do we learn from them? Apparently not.

Civilisations, all civilisations, think that they are immune to the mistakes of the past, and that theirs will be the one that lasts forever. The Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans. There’s an arrogance to humanity that I think has been born out in recent weeks. It’s why many don’t take climate change seriously, and why many are still not taking the virus seriously. An arrogance that everything will be fine, that it’s someone else’s problem, that simple factors are to blame for all of life’s ills, and if there is a lack of simple factors, that it must be a conspiracy or the fault of a select few.

I don’t think the virus could have come at a worse possible time for our modern civilisation. All around the world, nationalism has been on the rise, globalism and democracy have slowly been eroded, and climate change is having a major impact on the day-to-day lives of many. Is it possible that had countries been more communicative and open with one another when this whole thing started, things might not have got this far? Who can say, except the historians of the future.

What I can say is that this is going to have a devastating impact on our civilisation for a long time to come. Possibly for the rest of my lifetime. It’s looking more and more unlikely with every passing day that the world will ever go back to the ‘normal’ we all know.

Where am I going with this? I don’t know yet. My fingers are tapping and the words are appearing. The bleach is working.

* * *

Looking at the big picture is one thing. Looking at the minutiae is another.

Thousands upon thousands of people have lost their lives and livelihoods as a direct result of this virus. We see numbers in the news every day. Maybe, if you’re reading this, one of those numbers meant something to you. Perhaps that number was a parent, a sibling, an acquaintance.

We scroll past so many things every day, now and in the Before Time, on Facebook, on Twitter, on the news, and barely stop to let any of it register. Yet for the people involved in those stories, it may well be the worst thing that has ever happened to them. Something that consumes their every moment and fills them with emotions they can’t control. And for us, it’s just background noise; mindless finger-swiping whilst waiting for a bus or eating some toast.

The arrogance comes to the fore there, as well. The idea that things happen to other people and will never happen to us…until it does. It could even take another form – the idea that these things could happen to us, but that it’s not a problem now, and we’ll deal with it somewhere down the road. That’s arguably more dangerous, and I’m not immune to it. I know my lifestyle could be healthier, for example, and that making changes now is the best way of securing future stability. And likewise, the things that we say, do, read and write now will impact our civilisation’s shape in the future.

The mind works, the fingers tap, the words flow. Now, as ever. All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

* * *

Life goes on. Just as those past civilisations have fallen, people, not numbers, have withstood their tests and continued forwards. I’m not in any doubt that the same will happen with COVID-19. But it’s vitally important that we take the time to learn from all this, and to ensure that future generations do not forget its toll and prepare for the next pandemic, whenever it may arise.

And despite everything, I like to think that there will be positives to all this when we come out the other side. That the spirit of community and pride in our public service workers we’ve seen in recent weeks will never fade. That the systems of inequality and selfishness and arrogance that have allowed this situation to get in such a state will be reconsidered. That this may have a positive knock-on effect on the fight against climate change. And that people will be kinder, more humble, better educated on the weaknesses of society, and more encouraged to correct them.

For now, though, all I can do is write and reflect, no matter how hard it may be. There’s little else to do.